The best tea of 2023

Of reckoning and reassurances, and an unwavering source of comfort

For a year to feel new — to be new — new things need to happen.

While I did not start 2023 with the intention of new, I did go through many firsts this year. My first art show. First game of volleyball. First travel with a romantic partner. First vacation with a cousin. First birthday with a large group of friends. First hospital stay. First encounter with my vast capacity for courage. First acts of self-love. First acts of showing up authentically.

And through all these firsts, all that love and grief, a steady supply of ample cups of chai kept me grounded.

This year, my daily chai supplied the measure of comfort through all the ragged days that were marked by very little other than discomfort and annoyance. Deeply familiar and unfailingly feel-good, my daily chai has been an antidote to all the radical uncertainty and unnerving.

Now, I am a realist but a sentimental one. While I can see my situations with sufficient [mental] detachment, I do tend to sit in pain and discomfort. I entertain doubt. I allow my mind to conceive every emotion for a situation and then brazenly parse the situation through each one. I cannot simply wade through. I cannot just move forward. Faced with a difficult thing, I will slow down and turn inward until I can make some sense of things. To reckon with reality is always Step 1. To show up is Step 2. And to accept each day as it comes is Step 3.

This year, sitting on a million and one doubt, I needed help setting all that weight down. I needed help to fight all the reasons for feeling flawed, wronged, and giving up. I needed help to tune out the agitation and tune into assurances. Of course, I knew I had to stay and show up. But I also knew I would need to put my best foot forward each day, all the time. This year, for most parts, my reality was not one I could relax into. I knew I had to guard up and go through the scary, the strange, and the new as well as I could. Day after day.

For most parts, chai created a safe, solid place. It was easy to get still with chai. It was easier still to surrender around chai. To stand where I was. Pause. Reflect. Cry. Collect. Breathe. And trudge on. Day after day. Sip by sip.

So that’s that.